the weekender pt. 2: Hillbilly Hollywood

On Saturday after catching up on old times at the groom’s parents’ house, I said to myself, “I’ve got a rental car that I can run into the ground, why don’t I go somewhere that I’ve never been before?” I listened to my inner monologue and decided to head to Nashville, Tennessee. It’s the next state over. It can’t be that far right? Well 8 or hours and 550 miles later, I realized I was wrong on that account. Don’t ask me why I didn’t get a map. I arrived in Music City at 11:30(10:30 Central). I found a parking lot in a hurry, and set out to listen to some good live music.

The first place I went was the most crowded. There was a fairly talented band playing, but there was nothing too remarkable about them as they played the greatest country hits. I was standing there trying to take in the sights and sounds minding my own business, but people kept bumping into me and kicking my feet as they went by. I know the place was crowded but damn. At least say excuse me! Maybe my long sleeved t-shirt and New Balances didn’t fit in. There weren’t really too many cowboy hats that I saw though, mostly just a bunch of douchebags with too much gel in their hair and…well they just looked like douchebags. I can’t exactly say why. Maybe I was just being paranoid. There was a woman that was probably in her late forties or least looked that way. She walked past me a few times. I didn’t think anything of it the first time when she sort of fell into me and put her paws all over me and. By about the third time, I was ducking and covering when she came towards me with a seductive look. She still got in a free feel. Meanwhile to my right there was man who had to be over 50. He was dressed in a tan button-down shirt and a white ten gallon hat. He was obviously about 5 sheets to the wind. He seemed to be cozying up to a pretty attractive blonde who was my age at the oldest. He also was touching the young lady very inappropriately to be in public, trying to pull down her dress and such. Then he began to dance with her very badly. I was very happy with the place I was standing, but the couple was continuously bumping into me. I felt led to intervene on two counts. 1) b/c he was pissing me off and 2) b/c the girl didn’t really seem too comfortable w/the situation. I said something along the lines of “dude, chill out”. To which the girl replied, “it’s ok, he’s really drunk.” Well as long as he’s really drunk I guess we can accept it. Ha ha well it’s really funny when you put it that way. My fault for being a good citizen. The next two bars I went to had some very good rockabilly music and overall it was a good time. The next day I went to the Country Music Hall of Fame and paid homage to Hank Williams and Johnny Cash. I was glad I did it. I’m gonna do more of that this year for sure.